


lay me down in sheets of linen

by princess_of_the_darkness



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: (like that’s a thing), Dirty Talk, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Kinda Fluffy, M/M, Pseudo-Incest, Sibling Incest, Smut, german kink, not super explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 22:29:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19094344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princess_of_the_darkness/pseuds/princess_of_the_darkness
Summary: Klaus starts speaking German. Diego finds he enjoys that a lot.That’s basically all it is but it does get a little bit sweet in the middle.





	lay me down in sheets of linen

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Elton John’s Tiny Dancer because I’m a mess after having seen Rocketman twice now. It’s seriously sO GOOD. 
> 
> (I have no idea how this happened and I apologize to any fellow Germans who might be reading this because.... this language wasn’t made for dirty talk and I was cringing so hard while writing this oops)

Diego doesn’t think he’s ever heard Klaus speak German, back when they were kids.

Their father had never deemed it important for them to learn about where they come from, God forbid they’d spend their time with studying unnecessary languages or thinking about travelling the world. He doesn’t know any Spanish either beyond maybe two or three sentences and not even Vanya learnt some Russian.

So it definitely comes as a surprise to Diego when Klaus suddenly starts dropping German words left and right as if he’s never done anything else in his life.

It’s mostly small things. Klaus whispers _dankeschön_ before blowing Luther a kiss while he’s handing over whatever Klaus asked for, too lazy to get it himself. He mouthes _bitte bitte_ at Allison when he begs her to grant him access to her lipstick drawer. He claims he‘s run out.

Then there are the nicknames like _Schatz_ or _Liebling_ that usually slip out either when he is talking to Diego or when he’s really really drunk. It doesn’t seem like it’s a conscious decision on his part, but rather like they just pop up in Klaus’ train of thought and escape through his mouth. That might be the case with all of what he says, though. Klaus does not have a filter. That’s something that hasn’t changed and Diego is pretty sure that there’s no way it ever will.

Klaus has always been the one you can come to if you’re looking for an honest opinion. If you can wait long enough for his irrelevant rambling to stop and he actually ends up getting to the point, that is. Diego likes to pretend that he minds. He acts like his brother is oh so annoying, that there’s nothing worse than being in the same house as him while they’re making plans trying to stop the apocalypse, but.

The truth is, there’s a very special kind of comfort that comes from listening to Klaus talk about nothing at all for what feels like hours. Diego thinks it’s probably because he’s lonely, because there aren’t many people around he can talk to right. He doesn’t want to admit that Klaus has always been his favorite. It’s just nice when you don’t have to talk, you just sit there and listen to him, try to get a glimpse of what’s going on in that crazy head of his. Diego knows he used to be jealous of how close he and Ben were and, in a way, he still is. Even though Klaus doesn’t really talk to him when the rest of the family is around, Diego can tell when he sees Ben. It makes Klaus sit straighter, somehow. It gives him this look in his eyes that Diego can’t describe, can’t properly understand, really.

But Diego know that Klaus is lonely, too. That Ben isn’t there all the time and that even when he is, that doesn’t make Klaus feel much better. He’s so in his own head, he probably tells himself he doesn’t need anyone, least of all his brothers and sisters who never really cared about him anyway. It’s the same thing Diego tells himself everyday.

So, he tries to be nice to Klaus for a change. He makes sure that he listens to his ideas when they’re brainstorming - even when he knows they’re stupid the second Klaus starts to speak. He pats his brother on the back from time to time when he thinks he needs reassurance. He tries to make him feel appreciated. The way nobody else seems to make him feel.

Does Klaus notice? Oh, he notices immediately. His response is to dial up the teasing and flirting and winking and shaking his body in Allison‘s skirts and those ridiculous vests. It‘s already enough to make Diego go crazy but Klaus wouldn‘t be Klaus if he didn‘t go the extra mile to achieve just that. So now, all of a sudden, there‘s dirty talk in German.

Actually, Diego is only guessing that it‘s dirty talk. It has to be. Judging from Klaus‘ face at least. And he thinks that Five might understand pieces of what their brother is saying and his reactions are very... telling. He mostly looks disgusted and teleports out of the room.

Klaus says things like “Diego, _ich glaube es gibt auf der ganzen Welt nichts Heißeres als dich in Leder_ ” and licks his lips. He greets him with “ _immer wenn ich dich sehe, muss ich daran denken, wie gerne ich dir einen blasen würde_ ” in the morning before making coffee for the both of them. One time he gives Diego a kiss on the cheek before going to bed and whispers “ _bitte komm einfach in mein Zimmer_ , Diego, _bitte komm einfach rein und lass mich deinen Schwanz sehen, okay?_ ”

It gives Diego shivers, drives him wild and he has absolutely no clue what Klaus is even saying. He’s not entirely sure he wants to know. There’s always been _something_ between them in the same way that Luther and Allison always stuck together when they could. Ben was Klaus’ best friend but Diego was something else to Klaus, he knows that. It was mutual and he supposes it still is.

They’ve even shared their first kiss. Kind of. At least in the weird way you might tell yourself you’re “just practicing for the future” and then years down the line, you remember that actually, the first person whose mouth you’ve tasted wasn’t Gina who lived down the street and moved to Canada when you were fifteen but really your brother. Your brother who had just stolen a bottle of liquor from somewhere and didn’t know who else to drink it with. (They got through a quarter together before almost throwing up from the taste. What a fun night.)

Diego is sure that Klaus is just teasing. Mostly. It’s in those pretty eyes that flutter their lashes at him. They’re full of mischief, not so much of genuine desire. But he also knows that Klaus wouldn’t say no. If he touched him, if he burst through his door at night, if he woke him up with a kiss or a blowjob in the morning, Klaus would surely be into it.

Maybe that’s what this is, Diego thinks with a start. Maybe Klaus is testing the waters, waiting for Diego to take his hints for what they are. Maybe he _wants_ Diego and wants him to make the first step. Diego bites his lip in thought. Hooking up with Klaus wouldn’t be the stupidest thing he’s ever done but it’s definitely up there. Does he care?

The answer comes to him the moment he knocks on Klaus’ bedroom door: No, he doesn’t give a single shit. Diego waits a couple of minutes and when he still doesn’t get a response after his second knock, he opens the door.

The lights are on in Klaus’ room. He’s lying on his bed, headphones covering his ears, hands folded over his stomach, and he stares at him with wide eyes.

Diego takes two steps forward and closes the door. Klaus smiles. He looks so beautiful, Diego realizes, maybe for the first time ever. His eyes are full of magic, so deep and unyielding. They’re also very clear tonight. Klaus must really be trying to sober up then.

“Hi,” Diego mouthes and Klaus smiles gets softer. He sits up and scoots closer to his pillow, leaving an empty spot at the end of the bed. Diego doesn’t even think, he just sits down, eagerly. He’s still staring at Klaus, doesn’t think he could look away now.

Klaus points to the headphones with a quirk of his eyebrow. Then he takes them off and sets them on Diego’s head. At first it’s just loud sounds on his ears before he recognizes the song. It’s Elton John, _Tiny Dancer_. Diego grins at his brother. He can’t help but sway a little bit to the music. Klaus’ hands are still on the sides of his face and he strokes Diego’s cheek for a second. Then he drops them in his own lap, picking at his nails.

Diegoknows it’s always been a favorite song of Klaus’. Used to get into those phases where he’d listen to nothing else for weeks. There’d even been a printed out picture of a young Elton John on his wall. It’s not there anymore but the song still reminds Diego of the teenage years they spent together and yet not together at all. He closes his eyes for a second to take in the moment, to focus on the beautiful chorus as it sets in.

At least that’s his plan. But then Diego feels lips moving against his own. Klaus smells sweet up close like this, some sugary perfume he’s probably stolen from Allison’s stash and it’s just right, like this. Like it was always meant to be. He pushes the headphones off and they fall on the floor. He grips Klaus’ neck with both hands as he licks into his mouth. Klaus moans a little, surprisingly quiet.

“Better than last time?” he whispers when they break apart. Diego lets out a snort.

“Last time doesn’t count.”

Klaus nods and pets Diego’s hair. He looks a little bit sad now.

“If you say so.”

He realizes that his brother must have spent more time thinking about that clumsy, embarrassing thing you can barely call a kiss than he ever did.

So he vows to make up for it. He kisses him again, this time much more forceful than when Klaus started. There’s a minty taste on Klaus’ tongue and Diego can feel his beard scratching his chin and cheeks. It’s really nice, though.

“Tell me what you want,” Diego mumbles between kisses, trying to take Klaus’ shirt off without pausing the making out part for too long. Klaus stares into his eyes, cheeks flushed, hair more of a mess than usual, and licks his lips.

“ _Ich will, dass du mich fickst_ ,” he says with a smirk.

Diego groans. Klaus knows he has no idea what he’s saying, the little shit. But it does sound really fucking hot, actually. Klaus put his hand on Diego’s crotch, starts to palm his growing erection.

“I want you to fuck me. That’s what I just said,” he provides, before he dives in for another couple of kisses. They’re getting sloppier, noisier, filthy. Klaus pants and moans louder now. Diego really likes it. He pushes Klaus down so he can lie on top of him and grinds down.

“Now?” he ask, breathlessly, unsure if he can hold out long enough to actually put his dick inside his brother. Klaus shrugs, then shakes his head. His eyes are wide, his lips are red and swollen. He looks so fucking pretty, Diego wishes he could take a picture.

“Can you-“ He lets out a moan when Klaus tugs on his hair a little. “Can you t-talk more? In German?”

A sleazy grin spreads on Klaus’ face. “I see how it is. Diego has a little kink, huh? Well I guess we can’t all be into choking and bondage and handcuffs and blindfolds and a little painplay and mhumph-“

Diego shuts him up with a kiss, open-mouthed and more licking along each other’s tongue than anything else. “Please?” he asks all sweet, even though he knows Klaus is going to do it anyway. Klaus is into every kink under the sun and Diego can sense that there’s nothing he loves more than pleasing his partners.

“ _Für dich? Immer_.” He smiles. “ _Beim nächsten Mal will ich deinen Schwanz in mir spüren, ja? Bitte Diego_ ,” Klaus moans.

“I don’t know what that means but I’m sure it’s fun, whatever you’re asking for.” Diego sits up and opens his pants. Klaus does the same. It’s a bit tricky, taking them off while Diego’s still on top of Klaus but somehow, they manage.

“I said I want to feel your dick inside of me. Next time. _Jetzt will ich dir einen runter holen, okay?_ ”

Diego’s not sure what is going on but if there’s one thing he’s learned from growing up with Klaus as a brother, it’s to just go with the flow. Klaus mind runs a mile a minute, especially when he doesn’t have a high he can focus on. So when Klaus rips his briefs apart, Diego just laughs and lets him spit on his dick so he can start jacking him off. The friction is really, really good, Klaus hands feel delicate and rough at the same time. It’s made even better by Klaus whispering shit in German in his ear.

“ _Scheiße Diego, dein Schwanz ist echt riesig, huh? Hätte nicht gedacht, dass du so ein Monster in deiner Hose versteckst._ Fuck. _Fühlt sich das gut an? Gefällt dir das? Magst du es, wie dein Bruder dich anfasst?_ ”

Diego nods frantically. He doesn’t know what the question is but he’s sure that saying yes will get Klaus to keep going.

“Just a li-little m-more, just- uh, Klaus, I can’t-“ Klaus doesn’t let him finish, gives him a hard kiss and speeds up his hand movement.

“Come on. _Komm für mich_.”

For the first time, Diego knows exactly what Klaus is saying. And he complies, comes for his brother, biting his own lip so hard he’s almost tasting blood. Klaus’ grin is blinding when he licks Diego’s come off his hand.

“ _Du schmeckst gut_.” Diego raises one eyebrow. His eyes are closed, he’s panting, slowly coming down from one of the best orgasms he’s had in ages. “You taste good,” Klaus translates and Diego can feel the blush on his cheeks.

“ _Danke_ ,” Diego grins. Then he pushed Klaus’ briefs down to his ankles. “Can I show you my gratitude through a blowjob?”

He knows he’s being a little shit. Klaus laughs.

“Show me what you got, big boy.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhh idk if anyone really cares about what Klaus is saying to Diego and I’m tired so I won’t translate everything but he basically just talks about Diego looking hot in leather, having a big dick and that he wants to blow him.... not a lot going on there all in all. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> pls leave kudos and/or tell me what you think bc i need validation, thanks 
> 
> Hope you’re having a nice day (:


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